“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” -The Man In The Arena, Theodore Roosevelt.
My perspective has changed a lot on what it means to be vulnerable. I used to think vulnerability was weakness and the things that made us feel vulnerable( uncertain, exposed and emotionally at risk) needed to be buried away under lock and key and avoided at all costs. But it’s far from that. Vulnerability is actually more courageous than we think. And being in situations that make us feel vulnerable and challenge us simultaneously are necessary for life. Because really, whoever did anything significant or courageous without some exposure. And that’s why I’ve come to love this excerpt from one of Theodore Roosevelt’s speeches.
Vulnerability is doing the hard thing. It’s coming out of your comfort zone and exerting yourself. It means laying yourself bare: not pretending or putting up some facade because that will lead you to deeper, meaningful relationships. In vulnerability, you don’t just risk failure; you experience it. But that’s what it means to be the man in the arena and to dare greatly. That’s what counts. Vulnerability to me is writing this blog post, even though I’m shaking inside because I believe that I have something to offer the world. Exposure to me is waking up every day and breathing( because if you know me, you know how much just living scares me sometimes). To me, it’s sharing my struggle with sadness, unworthiness, and pornography with others and how God’s love has always been the most important thing to get me through it. It’s walking to class after failing my Interim Assessment and striving to make a better grade at the end of the semester. It’s not being afraid to show I deeply care, love and get hurt in a world where all of these might be thought of as soft or too emotional.
For some of you, vulnerability is showing up to write a resit or retake a class you failed and being brave through the period. It may be showing your authentic self and being courageous about it. It may be accepting to pursue your purpose, beginning work to achieve your goals, starting that business, sharing your story, submitting your resume for a new job, or applying for a school program despite previous rejections and failures. Because the truth is, if you’re so scared to know failure, you’ll never know success. If you’re afraid that you’ll fall, you’ll never rise, and if you’re scared of getting hurt, you’ll never know the happiness that comes with love. To be vulnerable is to be the man in the arena.
So I’ll conclude this piece in the words of Brené Brown, whose talks on courage, shame and vulnerability inspired this post. “Vulnerability is hard, and it’s scary and it feels dangerous. But it’s not as hard as getting to the end of our lives and having to ask ourselves: what if I would have shown up?…Show up, be seen, answer the call to courage and come off the blocks. You’re worth it. You’re worth being brave”.
Oh, and before you go, please leave a comment on what vulnerability means to you. You might encourage someone to also show up and be seen!
This post was originally published on January 14th, 2021.
Somethingbeautiful4life 