For years, I looked in the mirror, and I couldn’t find anything good in me. The life I had lived wasn’t one actually worthy of this calling(the life God has destined for us). I felt the pain of being separated from God like it would last forever. I knew I wanted Him. But then, I didn’t have what it took to go to Him. I thought He wanted me whole. Later, I found that He actually wanted the broken me.
So one day, I sat on my bed like I was going to die the next day. Crying, angry and very beaten up by the burdens I carried because of guilt. I wanted it all to end. I had said the Sinner’s Prayer some years before. In a way, it wasn’t working for me. Jesus Christ wasn’t actually my Lord and saviour. I was reading Tim Lahaye’s “Why you act the way you do” in all this self-condemnation. I desperately tried to identify why I felt so hopeless, anxious and burdened. But that was like covering the problem and not getting to the roots. I got to a page that had the Sinner’s prayer. For some strange reason, I was compelled to repeat this prayer. I thought it wouldn’t make much of a difference anyway. But I did. What followed was overwhelming. It took me a while to discover this. Many people don’t discover it till it’s too late. The Bible says: For the Son of Man came to seek and to save that which was lost( Luke 19:10). This is why Jesus was sent. For me. For those of us who are lost, who can’t figure things out and who desperately are in need of help. It’s not about what we’ve done in the past or about the kind of life you’re living. The only qualification from this scripture is that you should be lost. That’s what many of us are. We’re lost in this world: carrying our sins on our shoulders.
God is a God of new beginnings. That day on my bed, I discovered that. God wants to give us fresh starts. No matter the life you’ve lived, God is willing to give you a fresh start. So today, I pray that we all discover that part of our lives that we might need a fresh start and ask God for it. He’s willing. He loves us with a love that has no measure, and that, my friend, is Something Beautiful.
This post was originally published on July 18th, 2019.
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